Funny harry potter jokes

How did Harry Potter clean up his floor in his room?

Answer: With a broom stick!

How does Albus get into Hogwarts?

Answer: Through the Dumble-door.

How does Harry Potter get down hills?

Answer: J.K. Rowling!

How does Voldemort keep his breath fresh?

Answer: Dementos!

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: None – wizards don’t use electricity!

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and let us in! The Dementors are coming!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
You Know
You Know who?
Exactly. Avada Kedavra, Muggle!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
You know.
You know who?
Exactly! AVADA KEDAVRA!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed am I with Harry Potter?

Answer: 9 3/4!

What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?

Answer: Why so Sirius?

What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?

Answer: The Dinosorcerer

What do you call a gardener that has a beard?

Answer: Hairy Potter.

What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?

Answer: Gifted.

What do you call a monkey with a wand?

Answer: Hairy Potter!

What does a wizard use to fill up his gas tank on the car?

Answer: Expecto petroleum!

What does Aragog do on his day off?

Answer: He goes fly fishing.

What does Harry Potter and his Quidditch team have in common?

Answer: They all fly on broomsticks!

What does Harry Potter do when he can’t open the door?

Answer: He has to Slyther-in!

What does Harry Potter have that Voldemort doesn’t?

Answer: A nose!

What is Bigfoot's favorite book?

Answer: Hairy Potter.

What kind of cereal do they serve at Hogwarts?

Answer: Hufflepuffs

What language does the post office at Hogwarts speak?

Answer: Parceltongue

What's a robot's favourite book?

Answer: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Wire

Why did Aragog buy a car?

Answer: So he could take it out for a spin

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?

Answer: Because it was making him Moody.

Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road?

Answer: Because Draco did.

Why did Harry Potter cross the road?

Answer: That where he left his broomstick!

Why did Lucius Malfoy cross the road twice?

Answer: He’s a double-crosser.

Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

Answer: So you’ll never know which side he’s on.

Why did the Dark Lord cross the road?

Answer: Because Potter couldn’t stop him

Why did Trevor cross the road?

Answer: To get away from Long Bottom

Why does Voldemort love Nagini?

Answer: Because she gives him hugs and hisses.

Why does Voldemort only use Twitter and not Facebook?

Answer: Cause he only has followers, not friends.

Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?

Answer: Nobody nose.

Why is Garrick Ollivander never home?

Answer: He's a wanderer!

Why Was Harry Potter Sent To The Office?

Answer: Because he was cursing in class.

You don’t get my Harry Potter jokes?

Answer: There must be some thing RON with you.