Funny skeleton jokes

How did skeletons send mail in the old days?

Answer: The bony express!

How did the skeleton know that it was going to rain?

Answer: He could feel it in his bones.

How do skeletons say hello?

Answer: Bonejour

How does a skeleton call his friends?

Answer: On the tele-bone.

What did Steve say when he was angry at a skeleton?

Answer: I’ve got a bone to pick with you!

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?

Answer: Spare ribs

What did the skeleton order for dinner?

Answer: Spare ribs!

What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?

Answer: I love every bone in your body!

What do a skeleton and ghost have in common?

Answer: You can see right through both of them!

What do bony people use to get into their homes?

Answer: Skeleton keys

What do skeletons say before they begin eating?

Answer: Bone appetite.

What do you call a skeleton that does stunts?

Answer: Bonehead

What do you call a skeleton who uses a door bell?

Answer: A dead ringer.

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?

Answer: Lazy bones.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a skeleton?

Answer: A bone constrictor

What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Answer: Bone appetit!

What famous Spanish city do skeletons like to visit?

Answer: Lis-bone!

What is a skeleton’s favourite instrument?

Answer: A trombone.

What pets do skeletons fear the most?

Answer: Dogs!

What song do skeleton bikers ride to?

Answer: Bone to be wild.

What was the skeletons favorite rock band?

Answer: The Grateful Dead.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?

Answer: A bone-zai tree.

Who is the most famous skeleton detective?

Answer: Sherlock Bones

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

Answer: No body.

Why are ghosts no good at running a railway?

Answer: Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!

Why are skeletons so relaxed?

Answer: Nothing gets under their skin.

Why can't skeletons play music at a church?

Answer: They have no organs.

Why did the skeleton climb a tree?

Answer: Because a dog was after his bones!

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

Answer: Because it had to go to the Body Shop!

Why didn't the skeleton dance?

Answer: Because he had no body to dance with!

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

Answer: Because he had nobody to dance with!

Why didn’t the skeleton use a towel after he took a shower?

Answer: Because he was already bone dry.

Why do skeletons hate the winter?

Answer: Because the cold goes right through them.

Why do skeletons like to drink milk?

Answer: Because milk is so good for the bones!

Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween?

Answer: They only run a skeleton service.

Why don’t skeletons play music in church?

Answer: Because they have no organs!