Funny duck jokes

How does a duck buy lipstick?

Answer: She just puts it on her bill.

What did the duck detective say to his partner?

Answer: Let’s quack this case.

What do ducks have for lunch?

Answer: Soup and quackers

What do ducks put in their soup?

Answer: Quackers

What do pre-teen ducks hate?

Answer: Voice quacks

What do you call a crate full of ducks?

Answer: A box of quackers.

What do you call a duck that likes to celebrate Independence Day?

Answer: A fire quacker

What do you call a duck that steals?

Answer: A robber duck.

What do you call two ducks and a cow?

Answer: Quackers and milk.

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?

Answer: Firequacker

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?

Answer: A Christmas Quacker

What happens when you tell a duck a funny joke?

Answer: They quack up.

What is a duck on the Fourth of July?

Answer: A fire-quacker

What is a duck’s favorite ballet?

Answer: The Nutquacker

What show do ducks like to see every holiday season?

Answer: Swan Lake.

What shows do ducks watch on television?

Answer: Duckumentaries

What time does a duck wake up?

Answer: At the quack of dawn.

What time is it when people start throwing pieces of bread at your head?

Answer: Time to duck!

What was the goal of the detective duck?

Answer: To quack the case, of course.

What's a duck's favorite snack?

Answer: Cheese and QUACKers.

What’s another name for a clever duck?

Answer: Wise quacker!

When a duck has no money, what does it tell the waiter?

Answer: Put it on my bill!

Where did the duck go when he felt sick?

Answer: To his ducktor.

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Answer: Robber duck

Which dance will a duck never do?

Answer: The foxtrot

Which side of a duck has more feathers?

Answer: The outside.

Who stole the soap?

Answer: The robber ducky

Why are ducks so good at fixing things?

Answer: They really know how to use duck tape.

Why did the detective duck get an award?

Answer: Because he quacked the case!

Why did the duck cross the playground?

Answer: To get to the other slide.

Why did the duck go to the movie theater?

Answer: He really liked the book.

Why do ducks fly south for the winter?

Answer: Because it’s too far to waddle.

Why do ducks lay eggs?

Answer: Because they break if they drop them.

Why do ducks make great detectives?

Answer: They always quack the case.

Why do ducks quack?

Answer: Because they can’t oink, bark, or moo.